I’m sitting here in my Ohio kitchen right now — it’s November 19, 2025, there’s a random Christmas tree already up because I’m that person this year, and I can still smell the faint pee somewhere even though we finished this nightmare eight months ago. My youngest, Milo, is three now and fully Potty Training Panic, but sweet Jesus, the PTSD is still fresh.
Let me tell you about the Target incident. I was feeling cocky, okay? Day 9, he’d been dry for 36 whole hours, so obviously I decided we were ready for a “big boy outing.” We’re in the toy aisle, he’s riding in the cart like a king, and then — silence. Deadly toddler silence. I look down and there’s a lake spreading across the cart seat, dripping onto the floor like a horror movie. People are staring. My kid looks at me with those huge eyes and goes, “Uh oh, Mommy, I leaked.” I abandoned a full cart of groceries, carried him out like a football, and sobbed in my minivan. That was peak potty training panic for me.
Signs You’re Deep in Potty Training Panic (And It’s Normal)
- You flinch every time your kid says “I have to go” because you’re 99% sure it’s a lie
- Your camera roll is 97% photos of potties in random locations (car, backyard, restaurant booth)
- You’ve considered just letting them wear diapers until kindergarten
- You’ve hidden in the pantry eating their M&M rewards yourself
If that’s you right now, breathe. I was there. Multiple times.
My Biggest Potty Training Panic Mistakes (So You Don’t Make Them)
Starting too early. Milo was barely 26 months and I was like “all my mom friends are doing it!” Nope. He wasn’t ready and I turned both of us into emotional wrecks. We quit for four months and restarted at 30 months — night and day difference.
Waiting for “readiness signs” like they’re some mythical unicorn. The experts (looking at you, American Academy of Pediatrics) list all these perfect signs, but my kid never did half of them. He hated wet diapers but also refused to sit on the potty. Sometimes you just gotta yeet them into it.
Using punishment. Yeah… I yelled once. ONCE. When he peed on my bed after I’d just changed the sheets for the third time that day. The guilt ate me alive for weeks. Never again. Accidents are not defiance, they’re just accidents.
The Method That Finally Saved Us (aka The 3-Day Naked Weekend)
I did the Oh Crap! Potty Training method by Jamie Glowacki because I was desperate and her book is hilarious and brutal. Basically: naked bottom for days, you never leave the house, you watch them like a hawk.
We cleared the schedule, pushed the coffee table back, laid down every towel I owned, and just… survived. Milo peed on the floor approximately 47 times on day 1. I drank so much coffee I vibrated. Day 2 he started running to the potty himself. Day 3 he only had two accidents and told me “I did it myself, Mommy!” while doing a naked victory dance. I cried (happy tears this time).
Pro tips from the trenches:
- Keep the little potty in whatever room you’re in. Yes, even the kitchen. Dignity is dead now.
- M&M bribes are valid currency. Don’t let anyone shame you.
- When they say “I have to poop” you have 0.3 seconds to act. Develop sprint speed.
- Regression is real and it sucks. We had a two-week regression when his sister was born and I almost burned the potty in the backyard.
When Potty Training Panic Comes Back (Because It Will)
Night training? Different beast. We’re still working on it. Some kids take forever. Milo was dry maybe 60% of nights at first, then regressed when daylight savings ended (why do kids hate us?). We do naked bedtime sometimes, waterproof mattress cover is my lord and savior, and I stopped stressing about it. He’ll get there.
