Expecting parents are presented with extensive lists of essential items. Most of those lists are produced by retailers, and the incentive is obvious.
Having watched a lot of families acquire and then not use a lot of equipment, here's a more honest accounting.
What's genuinely necessary
A safe sleep space. A cot or moses basket with a firm, flat mattress that fits properly. This is the one category where cutting corners is genuinely inadvisable.
A car seat, correctly fitted. Legally required in most places and the single most consequential safety purchase. Fitting is where most of the risk sits, discussed below.
Nappies and something to clean with. Cotton wool and water works for newborns and is cheaper than wipes.
Basic clothing. Considerably fewer items than lists suggest, and mostly in larger sizes than expected — newborn sizes are outgrown fast.
Feeding equipment appropriate to your situation. Which varies substantially and shouldn't be over-purchased in advance, since plans frequently change.
A way to carry the baby. A pram, a sling, or both.
That's approximately it for the first weeks.
What's genuinely useful but not essential
Depending on circumstances.
A sling or carrier, which many parents find transformative for having hands free and for settling. Worth trying before buying, since fit varies enormously and slings are among the most-regretted purchases when wrong.
A changing mat, though a towel works.
A baby monitor, useful in larger homes and unnecessary in smaller ones.
A bouncer or similar, which gives you somewhere safe to put the baby down.
Muslin cloths, which turn out to be useful for an implausible range of purposes.
What's commonly bought and rarely used
Nappy bins. Expensive refills, and a lidded bin works.
Baby bath. A sink or a normal bath with supervision works.
Bottle warmers. A jug of hot water works.
Cot bumpers, pillows, duvets and soft toys in the sleep space. Not merely unnecessary but advised against on safety grounds. Safe sleep guidance is clear that the cot should be empty.
Baby shoes. Pre-walking babies don't need shoes and there's an argument that they interfere with foot development.
Extensive newborn wardrobes. Outgrown in weeks, frequently unworn.
Wipe warmers. A solution to a problem that doesn't exist.
Specialised feeding equipment bought in advance, before you know what your situation will be.
The safety category, where spending matters
A distinction worth drawing. Most baby equipment is optional. Some of it is safety-critical and worth attention.
Car seats. Buy new or from a source you trust completely. A second-hand seat may have been in a collision, which compromises it invisibly. Check the fit with your specific vehicle — not all seats fit all cars properly.
Most importantly, get the fitting checked. Studies of car seat installation have repeatedly found high rates of error, and many retailers and safety organisations offer free checking.
Cot mattresses. Firm, flat, and fitting the cot with no gaps at the edges. Second-hand cots are generally fine; a new mattress is the usual recommendation.
Anything with a recall history. Worth checking before buying second-hand.
Second-hand
Most baby equipment is used briefly and then stored, which means the second-hand market is full of items in excellent condition.
Fine second-hand: prams, cots, high chairs, clothing, toys, slings, changing equipment.
Not recommended second-hand: car seats, and mattresses.
The financial and environmental case for buying used is strong, and the social pressure to buy new for a baby is one of the more effective pieces of marketing in the sector.
The anxiety dimension
Worth naming because it's the actual mechanism.
A great deal of baby product marketing works by suggesting a risk and offering a solution. Monitors that track breathing. Products claiming to reduce reflux, improve sleep, or support development.
Several categories of product making health claims have limited or no supporting evidence, and some — particularly sleep positioners and certain inclined sleepers — have been subject to safety warnings and recalls.
The general principle: be sceptical of any product claiming to solve a health problem, and check whether official safe sleep guidance permits it before using anything in a cot.
The practical suggestion
Buy the small necessary list before the birth, and buy the rest as you discover you need it.
Shops exist and deliver quickly. The list of things you genuinely need in the first fortnight is short, and everything else can be acquired once you know your specific baby, which nobody can predict in advance.
General information only. Follow current safe sleep and car seat guidance from your national health authority.
The gift problem
A practical difficulty that generates a lot of unwanted equipment. New babies attract gifts, and gifts arrive without reference to what you need or have space for.
Approaches that work: a registry or list, which feels awkward and prevents duplication. Suggesting practical contributions instead — meals, nappies, someone to hold the baby while you shower — which are consistently what parents say they valued most.
And accepting that some things will arrive unused, and passing them on without guilt. Baby equipment circulating between families is the sensible outcome and everybody involved has been in the same position.