Okay, toddler tips are basically the only reason I’m still alive and my kid hasn’t been sold to the circus yet. I’m sitting here on my couch in Richmond, Virginia, with dried applesauce on my hoodie and the faint smell of diaper pail haunting the living room like a ghost that pays rent, and I just need to scream this into the void before I forget it all when the next one comes (God help me).
The Toddler Tips That Saved My Actual Sanity (Mostly)
Look, nobody tells you that the second your kid hits 18 months, they develop opinions stronger than Twitter in 2020. Mine decided ketchup is a food group and the word “no” is his personal trigger. So here’s the stuff I learned the hard way.
Toddler Tip #1: The Snack Plate Is Your New God
I used to be that mom with the cute bento boxes. Now? I hand him a muffin tin full of random crap — three Goldfish, one grape cut into eighths because choking paranoia is real, a single chunk of cheese he’ll ignore, and like six Cheerios for volume. He thinks it’s a buffet. I think it buys me nine minutes to pee alone. Win-win.
Toddler Tip #2: Say Yes Whenever You Possibly Can
I know, I know — boundaries. But hear me out. Instead of “No, we can’t have ice cream for breakfast,” I started “Yes, you can have ice cream… right after eggs!” He’s so shocked I said yes, he forgets he wanted to fight. Works 60% of the time. The other 40% we just cry together on the kitchen floor. Solidarity.
Toddler Tip #3: The Magic Phrase That Stops 87% of Tantrums
“Would you like to do it yourself, or should I help?” I swear on my last working brain cell this works. He wants control so bad he’ll pick “myself” even when he can’t reach the light switch. Then I just… stand there while he jumps for five minutes. Whatever, the tantrum train derailed.
The Toddler Tips Nobody Posts on Instagram
- Outsource the word “no” to inanimate objects. “Oh no, the iPad went night-night!” works way better than me saying it for the 47th time.
- Keep a “yes basket” in every room — cheap dollar-store toys you rotate. New toy = 20 minutes of silence. I’m not proud, but I’m also not insane anymore.
- When they hand you a pretend phone and say “mama it’s for you,” always answer it. Every single time. I ignored it once and the betrayal in his eyes still haunts me. (It was Grandma calling to say he pooped.)
The One Toddler Tip I’m Still Screwing Up Daily
Sleep. Sweet baby Jesus, the sleep. Everyone’s like “sleep begets sleep” and I tried it and now we’re all awake at 5:15am living our best raccoon lives. Send help. Or coffee. Or both intravenously.
Anyway, these toddler tips are brought to you by someone who literally just found a Cheerio in her bra while typing this. You’re doing better than you think, probably. Or we’re all just winging it and the kids will be fine. Either way, save this post, cry-laugh, text it to your mom friend who’s also hiding in the pantry right now. What’s the one toddler tip you swear by that sounds completely insane to non-parents? Drop it below so we can all steal it and pretend we came up with it first.
Outbound Reference Links:-
https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddler/Pages/default.aspx – American Academy of Pediatrics toddler section (great for any safety/choking mentions)
https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/milestones-2yr.html – CDC developmental milestones for 2-year-olds (when I talk about the sudden opinions phase)
https://www.sleepfoundation.org/children-and-sleep/sleep-begets-sleep – the actual “sleep begets sleep” research everyone quotes
https://naptimenatter.com/toddler-yes-day/ – inspiration for the “say yes when you can” strategy (popular parenting blog)
https://busytoddler.com/muffin-tin-snacks/ – the original muffin-tin snack idea that went viral (Busy Toddler IG/blog)
